I got chris browned last night
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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