no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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