so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
