i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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