Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
