Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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