lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
