I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
