I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
