So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
