Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Michael Bay diarrhea
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Randomize
