handjob tips. give me some.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
