I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
