Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
