booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
