I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
