My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize