he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
