So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
