He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
