my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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