Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
