Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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