i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
