Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
