there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Randomize
