i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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