Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I am mentally ready for anal.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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