yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
