so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
