im about as happy as oj after his trial
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
