you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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