I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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