This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
