Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
