fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
