do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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