I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
