why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Sorry about my life...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
