Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm getting married
To pizza
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
