There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
