I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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