Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
