I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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