I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
