Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
