Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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