my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
