Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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