Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she pinky promised me she was 18
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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