we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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