Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Houston, we have a squirter
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
